Foundations For Counseling^©

Dr. Blake has developed the following counseling model which he calls "Foundations for Counseling" to help his clients review the basic information about how they got to be as they are, what they can do about it, and the services that can be components of his counseling sessions.

The model uses acronyms, where each letter of the word represents a word or concept beginning with that letter, to make them easy to remember and apply. The information provided here is brief; Dr. Blake expands on this model, when appropriate, in his counseling sessions.

G.E.T. - Our personalities and behaviors are derived from:

Our Genetics

The Environments in which we were raised

Any Trauma that has been a part of our lives

A.S.K. - Dr. Blake maintains that for the most part, we cannot help what we became, but as adults, we can choose to accept responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to be pleased with ourselves about certain things but also to identify aspects of ourselves that would be appropriate to change. This process can begin by asking ourselves questions in three areas of life (and perhaps getting help with this process):

Affective - What is our emotional self like? How do we respond to stress? How do we handle anger? What traits can be accurately used to describe us? What are our positive and less desireable traits?

Skills - What skills have we developed for life? Skills for relationships? For communication? For handling stress? For earning a living? For marriage? For parenting? For self control? For managing and resolving conflicts? And many others. How adequate are the skills we already have? What skills most need to be developed and in what priority?

Knowledge - What do we already know and what do we need to know? Ignorance, or lack of knowledge, will make us vulnerable to problems in life - problems of all kinds including marital and other relationship problems, as well as internal emotional problems because we don't know how to face some of life's issues. Many married couples who love each other dearly have serious conflicts, often needlessly leading to divorce, simply because they do not know how to overcome some of the obstacles to a good relationship.

What can we do when we identify our strengths and weaknesses or flaws? If desired, we can begin a process of growth by using the "H.i.T." model which follows.

H.i.T - We can "H.i.T." the problems with a plan to overcome them.

Heal - Overcome any emotional baggage that gets in the way of finding peace, joy, and contentment in life.

Inform - Become informed or knowledgeable about what it takes to accomplish whatever it is we want to accomplish such as being a good partner in marriage, handling stress, overcoming negative traits, managing conflicts, and many other aspects of life.

Train - Develop skills that will help us experience more satisfaction in life: specific skills for communication, handling stress, resolving conflicts, controling our emotions, and any skill that is needed to live life with less conflict and more success.

F.R.E.E. - Dr. Blake guides individuals and couples to be F.R.E.E., which means:

Feel better about themselves

Relate more effectively to others

Empowered to be in control of their own feelings and behaviors rather than to allow others, or cicumstances, to control what they think, do or feel

Enjoy life more fully

If you would like to schedule an appointment to learn more about how these principles can help you enjoy life more fully, call or send email today.

Dr. Gary Blake • 913-381-6060

Serving the Kansas City Metro Area

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